Dropping the F Bomb

There it was again…the “F” bomb and from a second Doctor no less. I had no idea what this fibrowhatchyamacallit was, but figured I should probably read up on IT. It would have to wait until later.

More importantly, I had to get back to work. Pushed through the fog while dragging my invisible cement blocks, painted my smile on and headed back in.

Fibromyalgia Search Results
Fibromyalgia Search Results

Later that night, I sat down (finally) to read up on IT. Wasn’t sure of the spelling, so I started with Fibro, sure enough there it was Fibromyalgia.

Read through the Mayo Clinic info. Everything was bang on but I knew better. Both Doctors were quite simply mistaken and that was that.

I pushed on…funny how a word becomes part of your life PUSH. I had to push myself to get up in the morning. For that matter I had to push myself to get up off the couch to go to bed. I had to push myself to get through pretty much anything and everything. The littlest things would zap me.

By each afternoon rolled around, I could hardly walk. My brain was so foggy I could hardly talk (sensibly that isJ ). My hands had become my enemy. As if burning, aching, and stinging wasn’t enough; they stopped listening to me and kept dropping things. It’s still difficult trying to describe the pain. Best I can come up with is, as the day progressed so would the pain. It would spread until every inch of my skin was hurting.

I had to visit my Doctor wayyyy too frequently. Rather than accept the “F” word I started to believe I was becoming a hypochondriac. That I could fix, Fibromyalgia I couldn’t. Every day there was a new pain in a new place. Every night I got less and less sleep.

Then life became unbearable. There was no pleasure, only pain. I had no choice, I finally accepted that I had the “F” word (doesn’t mean I have to say IT). After acceptance I was able to begin learning how to LIVE with Fibromyalgia.

Every day I am learning to accept that I have limitations. I have to figure out what they are, sometimes the hard way. This month was a major set back, but that’s ok it’s almost over.

As the saying goes….this too shall pass.  I’m back on the right path again.

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Claude Monet Print from www.AllPosters.com

 

 

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ShelleyLockwood

Learning to LIVE with Fibromyalgia one day at a time.

2 thoughts on “Dropping the F Bomb”

  1. Hello Shelley:

    I am so glad I found your about.me profile, as I too have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Thank you for creating this site to help create awareness and solidarity for those of us with this illness.
    My story: After many years living in chronic pain, about 2 years ago I began to have more extreme and different symptoms. I went through a year of various tests doctor/specialist visits to try and narrow down what was up with me. Finally while trying to get a CPP disability claim, my GP wrote Fibro…, it was a shock actually, because like you I was beginning to think it was all in my head, even though I had already been diagnosed with chronic back pain, arthritic pain, migraines, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Anxiety, mild sleep apnea and was on HRT.

    Anyway, I have been trying to cope, one day at a time, with medications, mild exercises and diet changes. It is tough because I feel so tired, plain old and unable to do what I want to do most days. I do have a very supportive husband, but the financial stress causes him to get overloaded at times. I do realize it has been a huge change and struggle for him too.
    I was hoping that we could connect from time to time, as you are in my area. Go figure, I live in Cobble Hill!
    It would be great to support each other through this illness.
    Let me know how you feel about contact. Take care.
    Sincerely,
    Anna Avery.

    Anna Avery

    https://about.me/AnnaLA

    1. Hey Anna,

      Sorry about the Fibro and all those other crappy conditions…the mix is so much fun, isn’t it? Glad you found me.

      Cool how close by we are. Would love to chat. You can e-mail me if you want to exchange numbers shelley@fibrofog.ca.

      Hang in there, we’re heading into our tough season; dampness and cold yipee 🙂 Take care,
      Talk soon

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