Warning! Friendship Erosion in Progress

But first…let me tell you a story about friendship

I found myself always wanting to crawl back into bed and turn it into my own little dark comfy n’ cozy cocoon. My only company in the room a huge cup of coffee, my dog and the TV.  I’d nap whenever I need to, which is pretty much always. I’d only get up to…ummm eliminate the last coffee I drank, and of course to make myself a new one.

Friendship was pushed way back into the deepest recess of my mind.

Lucky for me, there’s pretty much always someone wanting something. Be it the guinea pigs whistling for me, the dog woofing at me, the hubby hinting to me or the kids asking outright, someone needs me for something. Even when they’re not here, there’s always something that has to be done. I know it may sound odd, that things like cooking, making lunches, doing the laundry or cleaning the guinea pig cage help me, but they do. They give me purpose.

Our slightly loud, often chaotic household and the lives within it are what I get up for. Day after day they are what make me push myself to stay upright. Completing even a small task (though it usually feels enormous) gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Going to my mother’s for our weekly supper, not only gets me to dress a little nicer there’s conversation and I get cooked for! Thanks Mom! Groceries…wipe me out, but they also get me out. School & Hubby’s schedule get me up early but most importantly they get me up.

It’s been a bad two months; plain and simple! A great deal of energy (which left very little for other things) has gone into staying upright. Every waking moment has taken intense effort to stay just that; awake. I was struggling to find joy of any kind.

Then, a friend helped turn it all around. I’m not sure if she did it intentionally or just that her timing was impeccable, but either way she really helped me.

During my latest downward spiral she popped by my place. Which lead to multiple phone calls, a quick visit or two at her work, she visited bringing coffee, goodies and sewing stuff. We went shopping, nothing huge but it’s all been really enJOYable, every minute of it.

Awhile back we both developed health issues and circumstances changed. We stayed in touch and managed a few outings to our favourite store, yummy lunches and uh let’s call it “camping”. What we didn’t do was spend nearly as much time together as we used to. We knew we could count on the other, the friendship was there but our time together had dwindled.

Pledge of Friendship Poster
Pledge of Friendship

I think “frequency” is the word.  As we began to spend more time together I began to feel better.  The other day, I didn’t get dressed and I just wanted to crawl back into bed. She somehow pulled off gently nudging me to get up and get ready. Before I realized it she had me going out the front door. I enJOYed my day and we have plans for our next outing!

Things are a little brighter right now. I don’t have to waste my limited energy fighting the urge to crawl back into bed. A little each day I’m regaining my optimism. I’m starting to feel JOY again and my smile is growing more and more genuine.

Thank you so much JC for being my friend xox! Our friendship means the world to me.

Arthritis; Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That

Arthritis…

(the big A) Fibromyalgia (the big F) and Bursitis (the big B) Oh My!

Mix these conditions together with a few other illnesses thrown in and Taaadaaaa! You’ve got yourself a big old batch of widespread chronic pain. Every minute of every hour of every day of every week is painful.

The only things that change are…

  • What kind of pain (Arthritis, Fibro, Bursitis et al?)
  • Where the pain is (besides your big F trigger points which always hurt)
  • How painful on a scale of 1 to 10

In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t like using words like Arthritis, Fibromyalgia and Bursitis (especially the F word). Thus, the nicknames. It’s a way of pacifying the Me that is still in denial and of kyboshing the anxiety these words cause me.

They suck; they’re painful and can knock you flat on your back for days or even weeks at a time. For the sake of “keeping it positive” though, I’m going to call them FAB (which they most definitely are not!)

Who am I kidding?  There is nothing positive about having an ever growing list of painful, incurable autoimmune diseases. That being said, apparently (or so I hear on a daily basis)

  • staying positive is important (life’s dandy, how could I not?)
  • exercise is crucial (especially if you want to set off a flare or two or three!)
  • push yourself but don’t exceed your limits (uh and I know my limits how?)

I swear if one more physically fit person tells me the best medicine for Arthritis and Fibromyalgia is going to the gym I will….well, I’ll probably fake a smile while thanking them for their advice. Like I always do.

Anyway, after my latest visit to the Rheumatologist I realized it was time to finally accept that I do have Arthritis and Fibromyalgia.

Acceptance was the first hurdle. Now I’m going to focus on…

  • Staying upright as much as I can
  • Keep moving for as long as you can
  • My quality of life
  • Increasing my durability

I know I’ll never be the Energizer Bunny® again but I will be the best Me that I can be! After all I am FAB! 

Energizer Bunny Arthritis Post to Amazon