People; Why So Mean?

Blargh! Blasted people!

I am in the habit of forgetting that not everybody is nice. Some people are just plain mean.

Swore I’d never do this, but it’s been eating at me. I am thinking that if I come clean maybe I can finally “let it be”.  Then I can skip happily off into the sunset leaving behind the toxicity. Ok so maybe when I said “skip” it was figuratively.

WHAT? Is with the rhyming?

Mean people blog post Book Cover Your Favorite Dr SeussI am no Dr. Seuss, he I am not. I swear it’s a coincidence, because to write it that way I did not plot. The words flowed from brain, to fingers (ever so slowly) onto the “white” page of a Word dot doc. This paragraph I wrote though, to get a chuckle or a laugh 😉

Oh goody the fibro fog is setting in. What the heck was I talking about?

Right I was about to release some flaming gas balls of fury, albeit with a wee bit of discretion thrown in.

I worked really really really really hard. I was dedicated to the point that people thought I owned the place. Some people still think that. I took something that was losing money. Worked extremely hard with an amazing team doubled the sales and turned a profit in under four years.

Then I got sick, so I had to work harder. Then I became even more ill. To the point that I had to stop working. A year later it became clear that I wouldn’t be able to perform in the same capacity as I had before Fibromyalgia.

I assumed we would discuss other possible jobs or altering my responsibilities to accommodate my newly acquired limitations. I know, I know best never to assume. Anyway, never heard a word, not so much as a thank you, take care nor a goodbye from the owners. It hurt!

Been hurt by people? Learn to let go of emotional clutterThere I said it. I admit that it hurt, that it still hurts. It ends now. I am taking ownership of my emotions and today I move on. I am after all the lucky one who got away from a highly toxic environment.

Yessssss! I feel better already. In fact YAWN, I think I’m going to have the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.

Spring cleaning time, and I am learning how to clear out my emotional clutter. No longer stressed; calm is best. There is room for nice people only in my life.

Take care, Shelley

PS – Please like this post and share your story, your thoughts or your suggestions in the comments. That would make me feel real special 😉

 

Stress the Silent Killer

Stress makes mess

A stress twister
STRESSnado

Happy New Year!  I hope everyone had a super spectacular stress free holiday season.

So sorry that I disappeared but it’s been a rather extended round of not quite major and not quite minor flares…hmmm maybe I’ll call it a “round” of flares.

No, I’ve got it! The spinning wheel of stress n’ pain; spin it while you sleep, and wake up in the morning to a stressful, painful SURPRISE.

Not all bad though, was busy with Christmas which I mostly did get to enjoy and I’ve been busy working on a secret project. It’s been fun but the stress has knocked me for a loop (ok so really, it’s been many loops). Hopefully tomorrow the stress ends, and I can start to work on the fun part. I’ll get back to you on that.

Have I told you lately how much I blooming hate the agony that is typing? Anyway, I think maybe I’m whining a wee bit too much. Pretty sure that isn’t what you’re wanting to read 😉 So, enough of that!

Sarcasm not stress
Say no to stress
To sarcasm say yes

I did want to say a little more about stress though. I know you’ve heard this before, but please please please be kind to yourself. STRESS kills. I’ve just watched this silent killer attack two people who are very important to me. It’s dangerous and it destroys lives.

I know, I know…I’m one to talk. Three years (well my entire adult life really) I’ve been trying to learn how to deal with stress, how to let things go and especially how not stress myself out.

I’m not there yet, but I am much better at dealing with stress than I used to be. I will no longer allow anyone to have control of what I am feeling. The power over my emotions, is mine and mine alone.

This was sooooo not my intention, babbling on about stress but well as usual, once I get going you just never know what direction my rambling will take.

Now that life is about to be back on track, pain and all I plan on doing better. My goal is to post more regularly on the facebook page and to have something new on the blog at least once a month.

Ta ta for now and wherever you may be I wish for you to live your life stress free. Hmmm, ok I’ll make that a wee bit more attainable…

I wish for you to live your life almost stress free 😉

Gentle hugs spoonie pals.

Take care, Shelley

A Tale of Two Years; My Fibro-Tale

We begin this Fibro-Tale two years ago this month…

Ups n' Downs My Fibro-Tale BookI don’t believe pharmacy was the wrong choice.  In the beginning for me, that is.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last two years it’s that no two single Fibro-tales are exactly the same. No two sets of triggers are exactly the same. Every single one of us has a different Fibro-tale to tell.

I had tumbled a little too far into the abyss. I was dangling by a thread above the danger zone. I decided on the shortcut, quicker results to bring me back from the brink, both physically and mentally.

I filled the first prescription of many more to come. I needed to get “a little bit well” to tackle life head on again. I decided I would deal with the consequences later.

I don’t regret my choice. I believe without medicine and the support of my amazing Doctor I might not be here today sharing my Fibro-Tale with you.

After overcoming some uhhhhh shall we call them set backs? A few months ago I decided it was time to start putting some of what I’ve learned about the many faces of my fibromyalgia to use. Now that the urgent stuff had been taken care of, time to try some new things.

100 Hand Lettered Inspirational Quotes
* book cover

I have decided to test the waters at decreasing the number of medications I am taking and to introduce some non-pharmaceutical healing “practices” into my life.

Why? I have finally reached acceptance. Two years into the fibro-tale that is now my life, I am at long last ready to meet the new me.

Until next time…take care my #SpoonieFriends. Please feel better soon. Shelley

PS – Coming soon… Prequel to A Tale of Two Years; My Fibro-Tale. Like and follow on Facebook http://FBPage.FibroFog.ca so you don’t miss it 😉

PPS – Click here for a list of my top 7 Fibro flare triggers. What are yours? Please share.

Another Day Another Dollar

Another Day Another Dollar www.FibroFog.ca…or so my father used to say.  For me it’s more like during a flare; another day another dollar less.  Keep reminding myself that I must stay away from wallowing. These days it’s sooooo tempting to lie in bed and give myself over to the pain. That’d be so much easier than trying to remain upright.

Not going to do it; maybe some other day but not today. Today I will push through the pain, and swim to the surface. On the surface I shall remain!

First I’m going to pacify myself with a teeny tiny bit of complaining. I have laryngitis right now. That’s not the problem. The inability to speak above a whisper and the aching vocal cords are more of an annoyance than terribly painful. The problem is that, more than likely this is just a precursor of more fun things to come… those my friend are problems for another day.

Today I want to give a bit of an update. Last spring I ranted about an absolutely awful experience I’d had when applying for a government program. I won’t get into it except to say that it was so stressful I ended up spiraling deep into a flare. I have a hard time letting it go. Thinking about it is too upsetting. That was another day; a dark day.

It took months but I finally built of the courage to look into the program one more time. Glad I did because my most recent meetings went very well, and things have started to move forward. Slowly, but moving forward none the less.

I’ve met and will be working with two wonderfully supportive, empathetic, strong women. Things are moving forward and I hope to have really great news soon.

That’s for another day, though ….

Today I celebrate because I finally finished typing this and am about to hit publish 🙂

Gently hugs spoonie friends.

 Stop Snoring Today!

Summer Sure BLASTed By

Didn’t Summer Just Start?

I can not believe it’s been three months since my last FibroFog post. Wow! Where does the time go?

In spite of multiple lengthy and sucky flares, I really have had a blast this summer. I sure hope you all did too.

Family Summer Outing First Roller Derby Scrimages These last three months for me, have been about enjoying my hubby, my daughters and my community.  It’s been about going new places, meeting new people and trying new things.  It’s been about self-discovery.

Did I have you going there for a minute? Of course I didn’t try roller derby, silly.

The hubby, kids and I did however get out and enjoy watching our first ever live roller derby event. Thanks for having us Candy Crushers!

Believe me I was tempted, quite a few times this summer to just give in to the pain. It was bad, a lot of time on crutches. More than once I contemplated backing out of our daily adventures (#StayCay with kids & hubby) but I didn’t.

Blouin Family StayCay Summer 2015I’m glad I didn’t. In fact, not once did I regret pushing myself out the door. I am lucky. My family believes me. Even though they can’t see my illness, they accept that it is real.

When I could walk, we walked. When I needed crutches we drove further and walked less. We explored around my fibromyalgia flare ups, and for that I am so very very grateful!

What a fantastic idea my husband had that the four of us staycation together this summer. Perfect for a limited financial budget and a limited supply of physical energy too!

Shelley Lockwood Original Art www.FibroFog.ca

Hey fellow Spoonies got Twitter? Let’s get social…www.twitter.com/fibrofog

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