Simple, Just Get Active They Say

The moment the words ‘get active’ escape their lips my focus shifts 100% to holding back the incredible urge to roll my eyes. For the most part, unsuccessfully.

It’s like constantly replaying the perfect vine loop or watching Groundhog Day over and over. We keep hearing how we need to get active in order to feel better. But, what people don’t understand is, we need to feel better in order to get active in the first place.

Press play and repeat day after day after day the exhausting loop plays.

For five years I spent a lot of days, months actually, beating myself up for not being active. It’s exhausting silently screaming at yourself constantly to get up and get active.

Music is Good Medicine

Then about a year ago I started listening to music again. Not only did the right playlist cheer me up, but often I’d catch myself bee bopping to the music.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t pulling off DWTS or anything. Sometimes I was simply swaying to the music or shuffling around like Tim Conway. But, I was standing and I was moving. 

Which when your battling fibromyalgia’s chronic pain, counts as getting active as far as I’m concerned. Music doesn’t always get me moving. But, it does some days and in my opinion that’s better than no days at all.

Anyway, I remembered how much I loved going out dancing and how good it made me feel and so for awhile now I’ve been working at wiggling my butt daily.

Music helps me get active
The right playlist lifts my spirits and gets me moving

I created a bunch of personal mood lifting playlists. Each one is 6 songs and about 20 minutes long. While prepping for my shower, I press play and more days than not the music gets me swaying. I always try to get boogieing before hopping into the shower, because I’m usually physically zapped after.

Turns out, well for me anyway, that music is good medicine. Hmmmm, who knew?

Get Active, It’s a Personal Thing

What I had to learn was, to set the bar at a realistic level for me. And, to give myself credit for any and all physical activity. To encourage myself to get up and just get moving instead of putting myself down because I expected my version of “getting active” to be on par with die hard gym goers or the people I see out jogging.

It’s time Fellow Fibro Warriors to pat yourself on the back each and every time you wiggle that butt, even if it’s ever so slightly.

PS – I started this post back in April. Little did I know that one of my all time favourite funny people would be moving on from this world before I finished it. RIP Tim Conway, thank you for filling my life with laughter.

Fibro Tired A Tale of Exhaustion

Wow! What a rough winter, I was fibro tired every minute of every single day. My joints were more painful than they’ve ever been and my sinus pain was through the roof. Which made it tough to get things done, especially during the holidays.

Plus, I got hit with a cold that spiralled into bronchitis. I ended up in bed on antibiotics, and as if that wasn’t enough, my poor doggie Leo was very very sick too.

Turns out I’m not the only one in the house who is battling multiple autoimmune disorders.

But, there’s good news. A silver lining if you will, and it’s that unlike chronic incurable illnesses, chronically awful winters END.

It sure took its time but, thank goodness spring has most definitely sprung 🤗

My joint pain still exists, but it’s no longer in a screaming burning state of rage. Now it’s more of a dull constant throb.

Bonus, the antibiotics I took for my lungs also brought about some much needed relief from my chronic sinus infection. Yay!

Fibro tired still but…

I’m still fibro tired, but with each day of sunshine my energy level’s steadily rising.

Sunshine heals

I mean sure it’s picking up at kind of a slow tortoise like pace but it’s going up, not down. Which is of course, the another welcome relief 🙂

I’m pushing myself to get out as much as possible So the sunshine solar power charge my diminished energy levels.

Dear Spoonie Friend,


Sorry I haven’t written lately…

but I’m trapped in this never ending nightmare. I can’t work, I can’t sleep, I can barely type at all. This latest Fibro-flare is really packing a punch. The pain at night is unbearable. I can’t shake the brain fog so…

Spoonie Friend Fibro-Flare

When I explain why I haven’t written sooner… you will understand my Spoonie friend.

Now if I wrote that in a letter to the average person, we all know what they’d be thinking….

“she looks fine”

“she’s just negative”

“she’s always claiming to be sick”

“she’s just making excuses”

You see it in their eyes when they look at you and so I am often dishonest about the way I am feeling. When asked how I am I usually respond with “fine and you?” I rarely let them know  that I’m in a disabling amount of pain All The Time.

If I get even the slightest chill it sets off a chain reaction of a deep radiating achy pain, especially at my trigger points.

Speaking of Trigger points,  my hands hurt so intensely that if I bang them even slightly, tears well up in my eyes.

I could sing the Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, Graves Disease, Previously Hyper but now thanks to radiation Hypoactive Thyroid, Gout, Psoriasis, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Depression, Autoimmune Disorders Blues and they would never get it.

You my Spoonie Friend, you know what it’s like. You understand the pain and illnesses we share are not invisible to us.  They are physically very very REAL and I understand you.

We get it. We get each other.

This is a letter of thanks…Thank you Spoonies for being in my life.  I am grateful for each and every one of you.

I wish you days filled with so many spoons you can’t count. May your spoons runneth over.

Take care, Shelley


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With Great Effort Comes Exhaustion

I’d like to say I’m not letting exhaustion get me down, but that would be a lie.

I am sooo tired of battling to get something I’m entitled to. It’s exhausting and that’s what they are counting on.  Wearing me down to the point where I just give up.

They have me over a barrel. Hiring a lawyer costs money I don’t have. This leaves me with no choice but to fight on my own.

I have Fibromyalgia. They know it and I know it. I was approved for long term disability for Fibromyalgia two years same occupation. One year into the claim and two individuals have decided I can go back to work.

Ummm I still have Fibromyalgia, and as far as I know there still isn’t a cure. Nothing has changed since my claim was approved, except the Fibromyalgia is getting worse.

I am so overwhelmed by exhaustion just getting out of bed every day takes  incredible effort.  I’m in a perpetual state of anxiety and am afraid.

When overwhelmed with exhaustion don't give up remember David & Goliath
Premium Giclee Print of David and Goliath (oil on canvas) Titian (Tiziano Vecelli) click here for more information

 

When I find myself on the verge of giving up I think about the story of David versus Goliath. Sure it’s just me against a great big insurance company (with lots n’ lots of resources) but I do have truth on my side.

One of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome (and still battle with each day) is acceptance that I have Fibromyalgia and with it comes limitations.

I was building a new life while learning to LIVE with my fibro buddy. I was focusing on what I could do instead of thinking about what I can’t.  I was letting go of the old me; embracing the new.

For months the insurance company has made me day after day after day talk about what I CAN NOT do.  It’s torture that befell complete and total mental and physical exhaustion.

I have been lied to and I have been bullied.  I’m so very very tired but…

vow to self I won’t give up, I will push through exhaustion until I come out on the other side!

 

I will beat exhaustion cuz I'm one tough cookie
One Tough Cookie Art Print – 20 x 20 cm 
by Todd Goldman Available at AllPosters.com

 

 

 

Feel that cold

Fall Blends oil pastel Pain
“Fall Blends” oil pastel by Shelley Lockwood

Fall was one of my favorite seasons.

Some days, damp ones to be more precise are rarely pleasant or enjoyable.

Last week the dull ache got less dull and today the coldness to the core started.  As the cold slowly seeped deeper and deeper, the pain spread and intensified.  Other than applying some heat and layering up, there isn’t much to do except wait.  Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows. Wait to see where the pain will settle, and how far spread it’ll be.

Waiting to me, basically boils down to having no control over what happens next.

I think one of my biggest struggles is wondering…am I the only one?  I mean I know I’m not the only one learning to LIVE with Fibromayalgia (or what I usually refer to as the “F” word).

I know I’m not the only one hurting all day every day.  I know I’m not the only one tired beyond belief pretty much most of the time.

What I mean is am I the only one that feels like control is slipping away? I have always had a plan.  Sure flexibility (ha ha) was necessary due to life’s little curve balls, but now I don’t know from one day to the next what I will physically be  able to do.

Really, I never actually know from one hour to the next what this wonderful chronic condition has in store for me.

Am I the only one?  The only one having difficulty accepting this new found loss of control?

 Vow to self…do what you can to minimize the pain!