It’s like a never ending loop…get stressed, get sick, get sore, become more stressed, become sicker, become more sore. Then rinse and repeat. The more I’m stressed, the less I sleep, the more likely I am to get sick. I know it, I live it, I have accepted it and over the past year I’ve become better at dealing with it.
I had made so much progress physically and emotionally and then Wham! Out of what seems like nowhere, suddenly it’s like I’m living a nightmare. I’m stressed to the max, I’m hurting, I’m not sleeping and now I’m sick. I’m only human and I have my limits.
Hopefully Monday & Tuesday will be a turning point and I will be able to get back on track. Back to healing, back to learning to LIVE a new way and maybe even back to smiling again.
In spite of everything I have met some new people that are genuinely kind and are doing their best to help me. For that I am grateful.
Some days, damp ones to be more precise are rarely pleasant or enjoyable.
Last week the dull ache got less dull and today the coldness to the core started. As the cold slowly seeped deeper and deeper, the pain spread and intensified. Other than applying some heat and layering up, there isn’t much to do except wait. Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows. Wait to see where the pain will settle, and how far spread it’ll be.
Waiting to me, basically boils down to having no control over what happens next.
I think one of my biggest struggles is wondering…am I the only one? I mean I know I’m not the only one learning to LIVE with Fibromayalgia (or what I usually refer to as the “F” word).
I know I’m not the only one hurting all day every day. I know I’m not the only one tired beyond belief pretty much most of the time.
What I mean is am I the only one that feels like control is slipping away? I have always had a plan. Sure flexibility (ha ha) was necessary due to life’s little curve balls, but now I don’t know from one day to the next what I will physically be able to do.
Really, I never actually know from one hour to the next what this wonderful chronic condition has in store for me.
Am I the only one? The only one having difficulty accepting this new found loss of control?